2003-05-29 - With the Olsen's turning 17 in just two weeks, is anyone's breath as baited as mine own?2003-05-27 - It always made me a little uncomfortable when Brett walked around with that thing between her breasts anyway2003-05-25 - I received an offer from a friend today re my diary's future. More to come… if you’re one of the few2003-05-22 - When straight things happen to good people.2003-05-20 - The Swan Song (if by "Swan Song" I mean "probably not")2003-05-19 - Senior week business (in an attempt to hide drunken entries, much?)2003-05-19 - Lesbianslicitous (misspelled probably) HA!2003-05-18 - Proof that I may indeed have a soul (or else borrow Natalie's)2003-05-12 - Two girls for every boy...2003-05-10 - 36 hours from the Jamaican Motor Inn2003-05-07 - Puppets are much funnier when they have foul mouths and say things like "jizz-sicle"2003-05-03 - "Psst...Sarah! YOU'RE MAKING OUT WITH JEROME STEINFLAUBER."2003-04-30 - On my burgeoning megastardom.2003-04-29 - Proudly hating Beth since 2001.2003-04-26 - Yeah, diary.2003-04-24 - I hope I can use this Phi Beta Kappa key to open my luggage.2003-04-19 - Let's ressurect him already and eat some ham.2003-04-17 - The day I wore Ramsey's shoes. Again.2003-04-14 - Maundy Monday... da da, da da da2003-04-12 - I'm so excited that Jesus is coming soon!2003-04-09 - If I could turn back ti-me.2003-04-06 - My goddaughter now walks. This being cute for a mere hot five seconds, proves once again that perhaps parenthood is not for me.2003-04-05 - "I'm gonna sit here, no I'm gonna sit here"2003-04-02 - Mmm...niblets2003-03-31 - I don't even care if she sees the 14"x22" Naked Boy Singing framed on our wall.2003-03-29 - “Honey, you paid $1.50 to get down here. Maybe you should save your money, go buy yourself and egg-mc-f’n-muffin, and quit your bitching.”2003-03-28 - Sarah's favorite number was "I beat my meat"2003-03-28 - Who doesn't like a midget?2003-03-26 - And...I'm going to bed.2003-03-23 - Will this libretto ever QUIT?2003-03-20 - Keebler Elf or not, Clay Aiken WILL WIN.2003-03-18 - In unrelated news, does McDonalds still have Shamrock Shakes?2003-03-16 - For oft when on my couch I lie...2003-03-15 - What the f was that really snappy title I thought of?2003-03-13 - Haha...plant tests are for chumps.2003-03-12 - Don't be a hater, be a fair-trader.2003-03-10 - Don't get your hopes up for an entry anytime soon. I think I ran over muses 7 and 8 on the way to school.2003-03-09 - It's the Middle East, not the Wild West.2003-03-07 - They apparently don't recognize my fluency in Italian refrigerator art.2003-03-05 - Bach wrote too much f'n music.2003-03-04 - Does it smell like Clinique up in here?2003-03-02 - It wasn't as pretty in the light.2003-03-01 - Fanmail.2003-02-28 - "Yes Kristen, those pants do in fact make your ass look bigger than any ass I've ever seen."2003-02-26 - The day I wore Ramsey's shoes...2003-02-25 - Natalie should be my platonic life partner (but I fear Sarah would kill her).2003-02-23 - You've got a friend...2003-02-22 - It's 10:00 Saturday night, and who are you to judge me?2003-02-20 - How much for the orange go-go boots, Anthony?2003-02-19 - Sarah, tell me...how IS your afghan coming along?2003-02-18 - The day I continued to be not interested by Joe MIllionaire2003-02-15 - I loves me some liturgical opera!2003-02-15 - I loves me some Vag!2003-02-13 - The day Beth was nice2003-02-12 - What is it that makes the witch's tit so cold?2003-02-12 - Why does everything sound like Dorothy Zbornak's "I am the Wolf" Diddy?2003-02-10 - Who studies anymore?2003-02-09 - Brett, when you listen to Beth talk, do you ever think "I'd rather be masturbating?" Me too.2003-02-07 - Sarah... Mom's wearing the pink chenille.2003-02-07 - The only thing weirder than Michael Jackson is me watching the 20/20 special and half expecting his nose to fall off right then and there.2003-02-05 - Is it in poor form to drive 2 blocks to the "no blood for oil" anti-war protest?2003-02-04 - Can you IMAGINE me protesting war at Turkey Hill tomorrow? Can you?!2003-02-02 - Nat's sister thinks I'm a looker.2003-01-30 - Did my 11-month-old goddaughter just buy me a lotto ticket or am I confused here?2003-01-28 - Mother ate a Snickers bar every day of her pregnancy.2003-01-28 - 21 years, 364 days later...2003-01-26 - Two shopping days left...2003-01-25 - They're just pictures. No real need for a snappy title.2003-01-25 - The day I sweated. No, for real.2003-01-24 - "Brett, I didn't know anyone got frontal wedgies?"2003-01-22 - "And we will lie on eachother?"2003-01-21 - Ask me about my Asian persuasion.2003-01-19 - Nicole Kidman, what the f is on your nose?2003-01-18 - I wonder if Hot Yoga involves sweating?2003-01-17 - Did I look as ridiculous as Ryan Seacrest when I fake-tanned?2003-01-16 - For God's sake, WHY would someone in Arizona buy a bridge?2003-01-14 - Why has Mom seen more Anna Nicole episodes than me?2003-01-13 - If I were you, I wouldn't bother with this one.2003-01-12 - So I'm in this titty bar, and who walks in but the Pope2003-01-06 - Did I lose a finger back there?2003-01-02 - Oh sweet lord, I have 2 more weeks in this hell2002-12-31 - Chips = fries. Go figure.2002-12-27 - Not enough time for a title.2002-12-25 - Where's my package from the Abercrombie Santa?2002-12-25 - sub-FUHSK2002-12-24 - My God strike me dead if there's not a nut roll in my clutches2002-12-22 - Floral sheets begone!2002-12-20 - if I had an excuse, I might try masturbating in class too.2002-12-19 - Now I can cross pussy off of my list.2002-12-17 - Why am I cyanophyta all of a sudden?2002-12-17 - Men's testicles are bigger than a gorilla's but smaller than a chimp's2002-12-16 - Should I be studying?2002-12-14 - Mmm...crawdaddies.2002-12-13 - "We won't go until we've got some"2002-12-12 - Brett: "Who else is on the rag? Funny, my nose has been bleeding a lot lately."2002-12-12 - I don't have to fake it with Diaryland2002-12-10 - Gotta run... Elimidate is on.2002-12-10 - 4 organic tampons, 3 sticky mice, 2 PB sandwiches, and Matt screaming like a little girl2002-12-09 - Holy novella.2002-12-07 - Jen Cooney was on my bed tonight. WTF?2002-12-05 - "Can't put chapstick on those lips"2002-12-03 - I give up.2002-12-03 - Does anyone have a vacuum-sealer?2002-12-01 - I'll pass on the yule log.2002-12-01 - How about this weather?2002-11-30 - "The ice capade analogy one"2002-11-28 - Sammy Davis Jr. only had one eye.2002-11-28 - my favorite kind of pants ARE curduroys.2002-11-27 - Into the Weaver Woods...2002-11-26 - Thanksgiving: bad time to be a hater2002-11-25 - "Don't we got anymore stuffin'?" (imagine my face)2002-11-23 - Why do I wear dry-clean only to bars?2002-11-22 - World hunger is not Gud-a.2002-11-21 - My fav. kind is the Snickers2002-11-20 - sigh...2002-11-19 - Deb wants to see my hiney.2002-11-18 - Willie Nelson = no posterboy of mine2002-11-17 - Can JingleBear get a witness?2002-11-15 - Serenity now...2002-11-14 - Hmph.2002-11-13 - Al Roker in a one-sy?2002-11-11 - I say Czech, you say Slovakia.2002-11-10 - Diary gone wild...2002-11-09 - Gift buying has commenced...2002-11-08 - Page-turning = future career?2002-11-08 - Me get meat. Sing Verdi.2002-11-07 - Lo how Beth is a mean old bitch.2002-11-05 - Can Dean Hammer find meaning in my mortality?2002-11-04 - inevitable fame...2002-11-03 - Nat = My own Dr. Phil?2002-11-02 - Cantonese up to my knees2002-11-01 - Alice might be in wonderland, I was in hell.2002-10-31 - I do look good in orange...2002-10-30 - Pass the haggis...2002-10-29 - Don't waste your time on this entry2002-10-28 - Pumpkins in telophase.2002-10-27 - Tory's 28th appearance in "Voices"2002-10-26 - beasthood and goal-setting2002-10-25 - In every heart, there is a room...2002-10-24 - "You don't sing me love songs..."2002-10-23 - papier mache burgers...mmm2002-10-22 - Yee-ha2002-10-21 - Par-lee voos English? Grassy-ass.2002-10-20 - Mouse sandwiches look kinda tasty...2002-10-18 - I hear acid wash will be big for 20032002-10-17 - Nostalgia...2002-10-16 - Mice and lesbian sisters2002-10-15 - I wish Dr. Phil worked at counseling services2002-10-14 - Hilarity a la Nan and Jared2002-10-13 - You could've reassembled a whole cow2002-10-12 - KISSed by fate...2002-10-11 - Kleaning the pores & konvention prep...2002-10-10 - Oh that Sophia...2002-10-09 - Same old...2002-10-08 - Glenn...'n stuff.2002-10-07 - 'Nuff said.2002-10-06 - Taste of Heaven, Taste of Hell.2002-10-05 - The Maiden Voyage...
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